Write 15-step list titled “How To Be ____”
- First, assess whatever situation you may be in and decide if it is worth losing your shit over?
- Next, decide that yes, this is worth losing my shit over; no matter how dramatic or unreasonable it may be.
- Bring up your troubles to everyone around you. Talk to friends, strangers, anyone and everyone!
- Even if they brush you off or give easy solutions to your problems, ignore it! Sometimes it’s necessary to repeat yourself until it really sinks in.
- In order to approach the problem, or the people involved, try being passive aggressive in as many ways possible.
- Drop subtly rude comments that really get your point across.
- Talk mad shit to the people around you, preferably to subject’s friends or family in order to ensure it circles back to them.
- Then if confronted by subject, act completely outraged at their accusations.
- Start throwing out accusations of your own, regardless of whether or not they are even remotely true.
- If they decide to do what many mature adults do and walk away, keep up the argument. Never let unreasonable problems die out, but live as long as they can.
- Keep pestering the other person until they give in to what you want.
- Convince all other parties, and even trivial outside parties, that they were the dramatic ones. You were nothing but reasonable and, most importantly, rational!
- Take what’s yours and leave the situation with your head held high.
- Never apologize even if it was your fault. But who are you kidding? You’re always right.
- Finally, repeat these steps in any and all situations you may find yourself in.