How to Be Irrational

Write 15-step list titled “How To Be ____”

  1. First, assess whatever situation you may be in and decide if it is worth losing your shit over?
  2. Next, decide that yes, this is worth losing my shit over; no matter how dramatic or unreasonable it may be.
  3. Bring up your troubles to everyone around you. Talk to friends, strangers, anyone and everyone!
  4. Even if they brush you off or give easy solutions to your problems, ignore it! Sometimes it’s necessary to repeat yourself until it really sinks in.
  5. In order to approach the problem, or the people involved, try being passive aggressive in as many ways possible.
  6. Drop subtly rude comments that really get your point across.
  7. Talk mad shit to the people around you, preferably to subject’s friends or family in order to ensure it circles back to them.
  8. Then if confronted by subject, act completely outraged at their accusations.
  9. Start throwing out accusations of your own, regardless of whether or not they are even remotely true.
  10. If they decide to do what many mature adults do and walk away, keep up the argument. Never let unreasonable problems die out, but live as long as they can.
  11. Keep pestering the other person until they give in to what you want.
  12. Convince all other parties, and even trivial outside parties, that they were the dramatic ones. You were nothing but reasonable and, most importantly, rational!
  13. Take what’s yours and leave the situation with your head held high.
  14. Never apologize even if it was your fault. But who are you kidding? You’re always right.
  15. Finally, repeat these steps in any and all situations you may find yourself in.

*Photo Credit*

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