Holding On

She was sweet, but she was mean. She was small, and the world was big. She would float on the water, looking into the infinite space above and ponder the immensity of the world around her. She thought back to a time when sadness overwhelmed her to the point of numbness. A numbness so blinding and paralyzing she sometimes wished herself dead.

What had stopped her from scraping the blades across her wrists? What had stopped her swallowing the white pills cupped in the palm of her hand? There was one simple answer that would make her pause, hold back long enough to realize there was too much she hadn’t done.

Now, she looked back and saw all she’d fulfilled since then. Her first kiss – awkward and knocking teeth. Her first time getting drunk – on cheap vodka surrounded by wild friends. Her first love – unrequited, but wonderfully unforgettable. Her first time having sex – a house party with a beautiful boy who was wonderful, yet forgettable. Her first time traveling – London and Paris and breathtaking glimpses at different worlds. Her first heartbreak – saying goodbye to the waves that once kissed her feet and the buddies she watched sunrises with.

These events, these milestones, seemingly insignificant at first sight, morphed her into this person she’d become. The person who floats along the water to watch the stars wondering what adventures life holds in store for her next.


*Photo Credit* 









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